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I completely understand this fear and frustration. Doing what you have to do to survive.
Constantly planning your escape to freedom. Hoping he will let go when the time finally comes. Cursing the bastard for everything you have endured. The worry over providing for your kids. It’s a constant battle of inner turmoil and anguish.
As horrible as it is to admit, I secretly hoped for years that my ex would find someone else while we were married. My reasoning was if he had someone else in his life it would make it easier for him to let me go.
That’s actually what happened. I doubt there are many women out there who call the ‘other woman’ with her blessings and approval. I didn’t have a marriage. I never had a husband. I had a dictator.
Stay strong. Stay safe. Each day is a new day!!!
Your better life is coming!!!
Since I started this blogging journey, I’ve come across quite a few blogs that discuss Domestic Violence as well as all different types of abuse whether it be physical, verbal, sexual, etc. Some of them are written by abuse survivors. Those of you who have lived through your ordeal and made it out. Refusing to ever be in that type of situation again. There are also blogs written by those of us who are still a victim of circumstance. Still “living the life”. Trying to find our voice and strength to get up, move on and move out. Others are written by those who are our allies, the non-abused. They will fight the good fight by our side condemning all and any type of abuse. An objective standpoint if you will. Each of you are equally wonderful. Why? It’s because you are talking about it. This is a topic that…
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This is a letter that I sent to my ex who raped me when I was 22. I have lived in pain and despair since this happened. I was too afraid to report him directly after. Then blocked it out, and was told b/c I did that I couldn’t prosecute him so this my answer to that! Let him do his worst to me now. I am not afraid!
I have spent 12 years, bowing down to you. In the fear, that I may anger you and you will abandon me. I have only once stood up for myself. And I was so scared of your reaction that I apologized and apologized to try to make you happy again. I had no self esteem before you, and I wanted soo much to be loved. I send email after email, trying to fix the rejection I feel and have been feeling…
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